Wow, this mess we are in is crazy. I feel like I am living in a science fiction movie, but for now it is our new reality. So, I haven't bothered learning any of the new online teaching tools because I said to myself, "why, I will never use them." But here we are. And my old brain paired with an old laptop are not getting along. Sometimes the line blurs between me as the problem or the equipment as the problem.
All kidding aside, I truly know how you feel. I have always had empathy for students as they struggle through the mess of school, some having a hard time learning anything. For me learning was always easy. Put it in front of me, and I had it, no work, no studying. But then, the dreaded accident. When I first woke up I could not add two plus two, literally. A part of my brain knew I was giving the wrong answer but I couldn't stop it. And did you know there is only one word that starts with the letter F. The word is fire. Or at least that is what I kept telling the psychologist when she asked me along with giving her the word tree for a word that starts and ends with the same letter. After months of learning, I finally got some of my senses back. It's been a little over two and a half years and what I can't do with my brain anymore I use all kinds of aids. My hubby says I am great, that I am now a "normal" person not a brainiac. The world is good, frustrating sometimes, but I am making it work.
And then came COVID-19 and online learning. No matter what I tried to do it was wrong or didn't work. Each time I thought I had learned the basics of one program they threw another one at me. We are having a staff meeting, oh good I think, we will just use padlet. WRONG! We are using ZOOM. Zoom? That's what a car does, I go zoom, zoom all the time playing with my grandson and his cars. I go to download Zoom, which should have been called doom as it locked up my laptop and told me to shut everything down and save my work because it was low on memory. Save my work? Are you kidding? Nothing works, just a frozen screen with the message glaring at me. Think, you can figure this out. The frustration built and I did what any sane person would do. I quit. I picked up my personal iPad, the one they got me to use as a link to the outside world for the eight months I layed in the hospital. You know the one I know nothing about how to use for anything but online shopping, jigsaw puzzles, facetime and word games.
Long story short, I got the laptop to release and move the files to the cloud. Still not enough so I deleted everything I didn't need. Things like the printer and some programs I didn't even know what they were. I got to the meeting then decided to put my website back up after over two years offline. That has been another fight. As I checked links so many were broken, and when I tried to move some things to another page the whole thing disappeared.
The point of my story you ask. I truly know how you feel. The frustration of learning i had never even experienced. I had anxiety over many things but never learning. I was embarassed to ask for help. My goodness, I have a Master's degree, I should know how to do this. I finally had to follow the advice I had given students for years. Take a step back and breathe. Figure out the problem and then possible solutions. Don't blame yourself. Ask for help. My frustration level is way lower. My principal was very understanding when I told him I would be a bit behind as I got my head wrapped around all this new technology. He even offered to help, and I am going to take him up on the offer. And, you know what? Now that I have Let Go of the fear and frustration, I am so much more productive. As I watch the tutorial videos, it is finally sinking in. So, if I can do this at 64 years old, with brain damage, hands that don't work well, and working with old equipment, you can do it too.
There are people out there to help you. No matter what the problem is, it is never too big to not tackle. Remember the banners in my room. Just LET GO: Look at what you are doing; Explore new options and paths; Try new tools and techniques; Get a new perspective; Open up to change.
All kidding aside, I truly know how you feel. I have always had empathy for students as they struggle through the mess of school, some having a hard time learning anything. For me learning was always easy. Put it in front of me, and I had it, no work, no studying. But then, the dreaded accident. When I first woke up I could not add two plus two, literally. A part of my brain knew I was giving the wrong answer but I couldn't stop it. And did you know there is only one word that starts with the letter F. The word is fire. Or at least that is what I kept telling the psychologist when she asked me along with giving her the word tree for a word that starts and ends with the same letter. After months of learning, I finally got some of my senses back. It's been a little over two and a half years and what I can't do with my brain anymore I use all kinds of aids. My hubby says I am great, that I am now a "normal" person not a brainiac. The world is good, frustrating sometimes, but I am making it work.
And then came COVID-19 and online learning. No matter what I tried to do it was wrong or didn't work. Each time I thought I had learned the basics of one program they threw another one at me. We are having a staff meeting, oh good I think, we will just use padlet. WRONG! We are using ZOOM. Zoom? That's what a car does, I go zoom, zoom all the time playing with my grandson and his cars. I go to download Zoom, which should have been called doom as it locked up my laptop and told me to shut everything down and save my work because it was low on memory. Save my work? Are you kidding? Nothing works, just a frozen screen with the message glaring at me. Think, you can figure this out. The frustration built and I did what any sane person would do. I quit. I picked up my personal iPad, the one they got me to use as a link to the outside world for the eight months I layed in the hospital. You know the one I know nothing about how to use for anything but online shopping, jigsaw puzzles, facetime and word games.
Long story short, I got the laptop to release and move the files to the cloud. Still not enough so I deleted everything I didn't need. Things like the printer and some programs I didn't even know what they were. I got to the meeting then decided to put my website back up after over two years offline. That has been another fight. As I checked links so many were broken, and when I tried to move some things to another page the whole thing disappeared.
The point of my story you ask. I truly know how you feel. The frustration of learning i had never even experienced. I had anxiety over many things but never learning. I was embarassed to ask for help. My goodness, I have a Master's degree, I should know how to do this. I finally had to follow the advice I had given students for years. Take a step back and breathe. Figure out the problem and then possible solutions. Don't blame yourself. Ask for help. My frustration level is way lower. My principal was very understanding when I told him I would be a bit behind as I got my head wrapped around all this new technology. He even offered to help, and I am going to take him up on the offer. And, you know what? Now that I have Let Go of the fear and frustration, I am so much more productive. As I watch the tutorial videos, it is finally sinking in. So, if I can do this at 64 years old, with brain damage, hands that don't work well, and working with old equipment, you can do it too.
There are people out there to help you. No matter what the problem is, it is never too big to not tackle. Remember the banners in my room. Just LET GO: Look at what you are doing; Explore new options and paths; Try new tools and techniques; Get a new perspective; Open up to change.